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| it is almost 6:30am....
i think it's gonna be like this till next saturday..my last final. yikees!!
shoooot me.
hrm i have class at 9:30am...booooo. i cant wait to go home and sleep for days hahah :P. ohhkay fine..that wont happen but i just need sleeeeep...
5finals next weeks..i must survive through all of them. i can dooooooooo it!! (hopefully heheh)
okay back to readinggg....goodbye. wish me luck on my finals 
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| hmm..how did i become so...pessimistic these days?  i mean i wasnt the most optimistic person to begin with, but i always tended to laugh and smile no matter how i felt in front of people, tried to have positive thoughts and views, and even told myself that everything will be okay eventually..
but these days, it just feels harder and harder to stay positive..towards everything. i cant tell if its because of school and finals coming up...but i feel like ive been feeling this way since mid-semester. ugh i hate myself right now :( i want my old self back....i mean dont get me wrong, im not like super depressed/emo or anything. i still do smile&laugh a lot, but it just doesnt feel...the same? idk 
honestly, i cant really talk to anyone about this personally...i dont wanna sound depressing or stupid, especially when im not the only person in the world who feels this way once in awhile. i need to learn how to suck it up and make myself feel better...but honestly, its really hard. i guess thats why im writing in here....hoping to feel at least a lil bit better. ehh..ill get over it.
it is december...and that means 2008 is coming to an end and 2009 is just around the corner.
i definitely wanna be have more positive outlooks toward everything next year.
just become a more brighter and optimistic person in general...become strongerrr. came home for the weekend...feels good, i feel more relaxed.
next week is last week of classes, and then bam! finals :(
i guess ill be living in the library for the next 2weeks. funnnn... i should sleep since i barely got any sleep this weeek from studying for exams/paper but im surprisingly not tired...screw my sleeping pattern hehe :( ill write more laterrrrrs...bye<3 | | |
| today (i guess thursday now..) was a rainy day...pooo. i dont really like the rain =/ unless i was inside all day..but walking to classes in the rain suckks. on a brighter note, i finally got to wear my rainboots today yayay! hahah i bought them over the summer and never got a chance to wear it until today....i can actually jump in puddles now wheee that parts fun haha!! okay im lame...but it is funnnn :D
ANYWAYS haha, yayy tmrw (technically today) is finally a fridayyy! too bad i have to spend most of it studyingg....ugh haha.
either wayyy im glad the weekend is finally hereeee!
i cant live without my ipod now...just listening to music evrywhere i go really puts me in a good mood:)
i heart music tehehe<3
ive started going to the gym again..FINALLY hahah. i get pretty lazy about going to the gym, but once i do go, it feels soooo good afterwards! i feel so productiveee when i go to the gym haha. i plan to go at least 3times a week once winterbreak starttss...hopefully. i used to love going to lifetimee during the summer..now i miss it =/
anywhoooo time for bed soon! goodbye, ill write more laters:)
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| lalalala...here i am sitting in stamp loungee. i should be working on a history paper and studying for my sociology exam tmrw. but ive randomly decided to write on my xanga:)
my weekend was...tiring. and i hate mondays booo!!.
still have alil more than 2weeks until thanksgiving break blaah. cant wait to go home then!!
i miss my family heheh
i talk to my daddy and mommy everyday on the phone. it's basically a habit now. ive been doing it since i was in elementary school hahah. back when i was in 4th grade (i think that's when it started), everyday after school, i would go straight to the phone and call my parents letting them know how my day went. it's funny cuhs i still do it when im college HAHA. some ppl think its weird that i still call my parents everyday, but i love talking to them on the phone:) it takes away all the stress and dilemma in my life and brings me comfort and encouragement. i love my familyy soooo much<3 i love talking to my sister on the fone too...i can tell her all these problems that i have and i can vent for hours..she does the same to me. it just feels good knowing that i have my family to go to when i feel like i have no one else to go to :/
anywhooo im really confused with the weather these days. some days i would be freeezing my butt off and everyones wearing their jackets and scarves, and then other days..it would be really warm outside and ppl are wearing flipflops and shorts  . i kinda want snow noww....=)
i havent been to the movie theatre in sucha long timeee....i cant wait till winterbreak to have some freeedom in my life. school sucks :P
okaydokays i should go back to my work...sighhh.
p.s. i need more coffeeee...
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| hello(:
its sunday night and here i am..sitting in front of a computer, procrastinating. not a surprise haha -.-
i have a orgochem midterm exam on tues and i feel screwed eh. im planning not to sleep tonight and catch up with my reading/practice problems..we'll see how that goes. school has been very stressful lately and time management has been really important to me since the semester began. hopefully i end this semester with solid grades and finish my finals strongly. time really flies by, cant believe im a sophomore in college . i am 19 years old, which feels pretty old to me even though ppl around me tells me im still young haha. cant believe im gonna be in my twenties next yr, thats cuhraazy.
lately, life feels so...dull? idk cant explain this feeling, but it feels like there's nothing to look forward to and im just living in a cycle, doing the same thing and seeing the same ppl everyday. there's nothing wrong with seeing and hanging out with the same people, i love them all. but..i just want some change or spark in my life. i strongly need more motivation to try new things and encounter new experiences. im just sick of doing the same thing all the time..i know, it sounds selfish. but thats just how i feel lately .
but it's coooolio. i think it's just a temporary feeling, and hopefully it goes away. i know i cant blame anyone or anything, but myself. i need to set some short-term goals for myself, and actually accomplish them. school is a given; i think i should set some new and exhilarating goals that i have never set for myself before, and strive to achieve them sometime in the future. and hopefully stick with them, cuhs i have a bad habit of starting goals and tasks, and never finishing them.
i think for now, my first goal is to end this fall semester with a strong gpa, and do well on all my final exams. throughout the rest of the semester, i also want to start hitting up the gym again. i am SO out of shape haha, it's not even funny amore. these days, after walking up like one flight of stairs, i'm panting and out of breath like ive ran a marathon. pathetic haha :/
winterbreak will be a great opportunity to initiate some new goals since it will be a pretty long, but relaxing break. i just want to have a productive fall semester as well as my winterbreak. life may seem dull at the moment, but i know that if i try a bit more harder myself and gain some new perspectives, i can change that view around:) i wonnnt give up!! hehe
well i should go back to studyinggg now. feels good writing in xanga again hehe. missed you:) | | |
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